


What happened?

by Elison_Saquet0



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Blackmail, F/F, Investigation, Piper POV (Third person), Post Season 1, Prison, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-03 05:04:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elison_Saquet0/pseuds/Elison_Saquet0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After she beat Doggett's face, Piper has to deal with the consequences of her actions. But is she able to keep up and avoid being sent to SHU when what happened on Christmas night is hardly a secret? Vauseman involved. Rated M for sexual content and violence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ###### Hey guys! I just wanted to propose an alternative to the SHU, tell me what you think of it! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big Thanks to N1NJ4 who corrects my texts!

Piper is panting. She has finally stopped beating Pennsatucky's face, and while still sitting on her she is trying to calm down. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and exhales, hands on her lap.  
What has she done? What the fuck has she done?  
She looks at her hands : they are covered with blood, her knuckles hurt. She opens and closes her fist. Yes, they hurt.  
Then she finally takes a look at the woman who is lying under her. Piper can feel her stomach move up and down, slowly, painfully. But seeing her face she would never think she's still alive. She hears her own short breathing, but she can also hear Pennsatucky's weak inhalations.

Under the crude light of the lamppost, surrounded by silence, coldness and darkness, she looks at Pennsatucky.  
And she forgets everything around her, and just focuses on the face. She looks at what used to be a face, a face which she has just destroyed. Because there is no other word. She has destroyed this stupid fucking face. There is blood everywhere on it, over it, around it.  
Except for her stomach, Pennsatucky is not moving. She probably passed out, Piper thinks.  
And she stops looking at her.  
She must do something, she can't stay here. She can't bear being next to Pennsatucky right now. She cleans her hands on the snow before the blood dries and gets up.  
Nobody knows. They are all still in the chapel, attending the pageant. There were no cries, no shouts, no sounds... No camera in this prison because of the perpetual budget cuts. There was just Healy who's walked away. But Piper knows he won't talk: how could he justify that he left the two girls alone while they were about to fight? How could he justify that he did not try to prevent what happened? He hates Piper, but she is certain he would not lose his job for her. He will find another way to make her pay.  
Back in the warm corridors of Litchfield, she goes straight to the bathroom. She could take off most of the blood on her hands, but she can see from her reflection in the mirror that blood drops were projected on her face. Hopefully there is nearly nothing on her jacket.  
So she turns on the tap, and rubs her face and her jacket with hot water. And while she is doing this, she feels incredibly calm. She feels like she dreamt what happened. And not even "dreamt": she would still have been shocked. It is as if she was wiping away the memory of what has just happened.  
Once nothing of blood remains on her, she stands in front of the mirror. She stops moving. She closes her eyes. She breathes deeply. In... Out... In... Out... And there it is. A sudden nausea. She swallows, but it is still there. And the image of Pennsatucky's face comes to her. She opens her eyes. But the image remains in her mind, in front of her, in place of her own face in the mirror... She starts breathing rapidly. She needs water, cold water, on her face. She puts her head under the trickle of water, she rubs her eyes, and she looks back at her reflection in the mirror. Her WASPy face is back again. Water is dripping from her chin. Not only water. She knows tears are mixed with it.  
Leaning over the sink, she tries to calm down again. But the nausea is still there, pushing stronger and stronger in her throat. She sobs... and that's the moment when she feels she really is about to vomit. So she turns to the toilet. And lets it go.

//

She doesn't know how long she has been there. Maybe she slept, her head on the toilet bowl, maybe she's just stayed like this without thinking of anything, waiting for the nausea to disappear.  
Then she hears someone entering the room. She knows there's someone because this someone can't help commenting on the awful odor that floats in the bathroom air.  
"God Chapman!" The girl says when she sees Piper on the toilet, and she can recognize Taystee's voice. "Yah responsible for this? Guh!"  
But Taystee seems to understand that something is really wrong, and despite her disgust, she comes closer to Piper.  
"Yah Ok man?" she asks, hesitant.  
As an answer, the blond woman retches again.

//

Piper is in her bed. She barely remembers Taystee helping her, holding her hair, washing her mouth, bringing her to her cube... She feels very weak, so she stays in her bed. It was quiet when she came to her bed, but now other girls are starting to go back to their places: they will be counted soon, in few minutes. So she prepares mentally to get up. But at the moment she finally sits up, the alarm rings out loudly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep telling me what you think of this, I'm trying my best to fit what was going on at the end of the season. 
> 
> By the way: did any one see Nicky and Alex in the room during the pageant ? I'm quite sure they weren't (it might be a decisive point for the next chapters).

The COs asked all the girls to lie down on the floor, wherever they might be. They haven't explained what happened, the reason why the alarm is ringing into the Christmas night.  
Most of the girls are now on the floor in front of their cube, all wondering what is going on. Of course Piper is among them.

In the speakers, the COs ask them to put their hands palm to the ground, on the floor in front of their heads, and to keep their heads down, and of course "to shut their fuckin' mouths". Which they do, because of how Caputo's voice trembles with impatience and nervousness. They understand that something is really wrong, that they'd better not fuck with them right now. So the ghetto is completely silent when a CO comes in to see the girls.

Piper can't see who he is because, like the other girls, she is forced to look straight to the floor. For a second she thinks of all the poor girls who might be in the bathroomright now, their hands stuck to the ground, their faces stuck to the ground, breathing the fungus-ed ground. She closes her eyes, internally telling them how sorry she is for the situation they are in because of her.  
The CO doesn't walk, he is standing at the end of the central path, probably looking at the quiet spectacle they are giving him, which he undoubtedly enjoys much more than the pageant he was forced to attend.

Waiting for the CO to do something, to say something, to move, Piper finally understands the hands thing. Fuck! That was obvious though!

They can't know who beat Pennsatucky because they did not find anybody with the meth-head, but the person responsible must have certainly hurt her hands. And Piper knows that she indeed has marks on her knuckles. Taystee didn't see them because she was too busy with her pale jerking face, but there must be bruises on them...

She hears the steps of the CO, he's finally decided to walk, and he is now inspecting them. She tries to hide her hands, to slide them a bit back in the sleeves of her jacket. But it is not enough, and it would be too obvious if she completely hides them. She tries to stay calm, not to attract the CO's attention to her. She tries to disappear from that place, so that he wouldn't see her hands... but of course it is impossible. The steps are coming closer and closer, and she can feel her heart beating with fear faster and faster.

He's here. Two steps to her hands. And he's stopped walking. So he's seen her hands. Piper instantly thinks of the SHU, of the countless months, or maybe years, that will be added to her sentence, of Polly and her mother's horrible, full of ulterior motives, look on her the next time they see each other, if they see each other ever again.

But the CO moves again. Slowly as if he did not see anything. Piper, who has unconsciously stopped breathing, exhales deeply. And that's when she feels it.

The pain.

On her hands.

The CO, he's walking on her hands, on her already hurt hands, and he is putting all his weight on them. He takes the time, and Piper closes her eyes because she feels tears coming as she feels the cut on her thumb painfully opening itself again. And worse is the pressure of the foot on her bruises. And she bites her lips to avoid screaming, she forces herself not to move her hands, because once again she understands.

She finally feels that the pressure on her hands is released. The steps continue to the left, so she slowly lifts her head because she needs to see: yes, she was right: it's Healy. He is walking in the middle of theaisle, all the girls lying down on the floor, hands in front of them as if they were imploring him, immersed in a devoted prayer. She thinks of how satisfied he must feel having all these girls literally at his feet, submitting to him. And suddenly he turns back. Not really unpredictably, since he has arrived to the end of the path. And he directly looks in Piper's direction, their eyes meet, and she can see the satisfaction in his glare, a sadistic glint in his eyes as he walks back toward Piper. She lowers her head, returning her forehead to the ground. And he does it again; he walks on her hands, even more slowly, even more painfully, than the first time. And then he's gone

"All clear" he says when he is about to leave the room.

Now she knows that Healy knows and won't talk. She is not sure of his motives to keep silent about what he knows, but she had been given the painful proof that he won't talk, and that he doesn't want her to talk either. Since it is Christmas night and since many COs are not working, he must have taken the opportunity to be in charge of checking the ghetto girls' hands.

But she is not given much time to think about this. No explanation has been given yet, so the girls start to talk and speculate right after they get up and Healy's departure.  
They calm down again now that O'Neil comes to count them. And soon the light is off, and after various "Merry Christmas, girls!" silence falls on the room again.

//

She can't sleep. Of course she can't sleep. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees images of Pennsatucky's face, she hears her words. "You ain't worthy of nobody's love," she said. And she was so right. So fucking right... And Pennsatucky's face, Pennsatucky's words, and the memory of Pennsatucky's blood on her hands... All these things swirl in her mind, and she feels sick. She needs to get up, she needs cold water again. But she can't go out of the room. So she sits up on her bed, brings her knees to her chin and wraps her arms round them. And she stays so, all night long, fighting against her Pennsatucky nightmare.

//

The news comes during breakfast. It's Leanne: she comes into the room, like a fury, crying inaudible things about Pennsatucky. When she calms down, people around her start to understand what she's saying, that Pennsatucky was found lying on the ground outside yesterday just after the end of the pageant, that she was hurt very, very badly and that they took her away to a hospital, that she is in a coma now, that they are still looking for the responsible for that violence. And she stops and prays to God, Pennsatucky and God again.

Chapman tries to ignore the three gazes that are directed to her at her table after Leanne's revelation: Taystee, Black Cindy and Poussey stand gaping, waiting for her to react, to say something. But she can't say anything, she can't tell them, or Healy will know she's spoken, or the whole prison will know what she's done... So she looks at them, one after another, in the eyes, and she says "No. No way, I didn't do that", shakes her head, hands up and eyes wide open. And she tries to convince herself so that the three black women are convinced also. They're curious but they understand that in that case they should not push Piper too much.

"Never thought you'd be such a good student Chap'" Poussey says.

And Piper tries once again to persuade them that she was sick, puking in the toilet when it happened, that she would've never been able to walk outside in her condition. This is her alibi for now. So she puts her hands on her knees, under the table, until they shift to another subject, because otherwise, they will see the wounds on her hands.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Acually, I'm looking for a beta for this work (and maybe another one later). Would somebody help me ?

When she walks out of the lunch room, Piper sees Alex. She has not seen her since Alex rejected her when she went to see the brunette after Larry dumped her. Piper glances at her and immediately looks down when their eyes meet. She walks away quickly.

Luschek is gone on holidays, so she doesn't have to work for five days. She walks to the library and takes a book at random. She sits down on the floor, hidden behind a shelf. She would like to go outside; she wants to see an endless sky over her instead of the prison walls surrounding her. It seems as if they are closing in, no longer a building but a cage that is steadily shrinking. She feels trapped with no escape. But the freedom going outside would provide her requires that she walk on the path where she beat Pennsatucky and she just can't do that. So she tries to escape through books. But they are actually useless: her eyes run through the lines, but don't catch any words. She sighs. She wants to be alone, ordering her thoughts, finding ways to fix the mess she's got herself into. On the other hand, when she is alone she can't think of anything but Pennsatucky. And it scares her. The COs' tension after what happened and the excitement of the girls does not help; she can feel this atmosphere everywhere she goes.

She feels so alone. She has this big secret now, which is actually nobody's secret since everybody knows about Pennsatucky's anger toward her. Piper is the only one who had reasons to do that to her. She is scared that Healy's power isn't enough to prevent the other COs fromblackmailing the girls to get a name. If they close the track, if they rescind the girls' privileges, the visitations, the food comfort... She wouldn't make it an hour.

//

Three days have passed. She doesn't know how but the tensions have started to ease. Maybe Healy managed to handle the situation. Or maybe Figueroa has had too much trouble this year and doesn't want to draw the attention to the prison once again... She can't explain, and she feels that even if the prison is calming down,the story is far from over.

She still has marks on her hands, but they started to fade so it is easier to hide them.

She spends a lot of time alone; this is the best solution she has found. She can't spend much time with Lorna and the others since Alex is with them and she is not ready to see her again. She is too shocked by herself and too ashamed of what she's done because deep inside she knows that the situation with Alex was partly what made her lose it with Pennsatucky, and this makes her uneasy when she is near the raven-haired woman. Besides, she is not supposed to talk to her.

When she sits with Taystee and the other black girls she has to watch her moves in order to hide her hands. She's forced to confront questioning glances and looks full of innuendos if they start talking about violence, the meth heads, Pennsatucky or even the Christmas pageant. So she stays away from people. And nobody comes to see her either.

//

She's just gotten out of the shower. She still feels uneasy when she's naked under the coldish water after Pennsatucky and her girls' threat the other day. She is scared that Leanne will end what Pennsatucky started. So now she doesn't go to the bathroom as early as before and she takes her shower when other people are in there.

She is brushing her teeth, staring blankly at her reflection, lost in her inner thoughts, when she hears suspicious giggles behind her. She shivers.

"Now this is happening, they're back for me..." she thinks.

But a second later, she sees a mass of black hair and ginger tousled hair instead of the straight oily blond hair she expected.

Alex and Piper's eyes meet in the mirror while the two women are indiscreetly exiting the toilet stall. Piper feels like time is suspended. Alex has stopped laughing. Piper knew something was going on between Nicky and Alex, she saw how Nicky acted like her wife when she waved her hand to make the blond girl leave few days ago. But this is so fucking concrete right now, Piper thinks. She knows Alex can see the pain in her eyes, and a second before Nicky pulls Alex's hand to force her move. Is it regret she sees in the brunette's eyes?

But now they're gone. And Piper is still looking at the place where Alex's eyes reflected off the mirror. She doesn't move, still holding her toothbrush in her half-opened mouth...

//

The day after is her laundry day. She can't avoid it; she needs clean clothes. But she can't see Leanne or Alex either. She delays the moment she will bring her laundry bag to the girls as long as she can but finally gets enough courage by the end of the day.

She lowers her look when she enters the laundry room, trying to make it as quick as possible. She walks to the counter, puts her bag on it and waits until one of the girls she fears takes it. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a hand grasping the bag. She hears a sigh. The hand holds a ticket out for her in exchange for the bag. She reaches and catches the piece of paper, but at the same moment another hand grabs her wrist. The move is so sudden that she lifts her head, letting out an exclamation, and tries to pull her arm from the other's hand, which isgrabbing her wrist harder.

"Let me go!" she orders, pulling harder.

"Jesus! You're totally fucked up Pipes! You know that?" Alex answers, without releasing the blonde's hand. "You got yourself into fucking troubles! Why did you do this?" she says, lifting Piper's hand to see the bruises on it.

Piper freezes as she see Alex inspecting the marks, but then the brunette shakes her head and lets the hand go.

"I don't even wanna know how..." she says, speaking lower.

Piper presses her arm against her chest and covers it with the other arm, making sure Alex won't grab it again. She doesn't even hide the bruises. The two look intensely at each other. Piper presses her lips, takes few steps back, then runs away, leaving the ticket on the counter.


	4. Chapter 4

_What could she do? Talk to Alex? No way, the brunette told her very specifically that she should not come to her with her problems anymore. She has tried to avoid Alex as best as she could. She knew her picking Larry would hurt Alex, even more so because she came to her admitting that she had had her hopes up... and then Piper had ruined everything. But at that moment she thought that it was the right thing to do, and she didn't think Alex would break off all ties. Alex was just comfort for daily life in prison, great comfort but still comfort. Whereas Larry was her life, her real life. She had thought that there was no question about who she had to choose. Until her phone call to Larry, she had really been sure of this. With Larry leaving her, Alex'swords had finally made their way to Piper's mind. When Larry hung up so brutally, leaving her no choice, no way to defend herself and their relationship, she finally understood what staying away from Alex would mean. Not to go to her. "Ever..." Alex said. She wanted to respond to Alex. Yes, hours late, but still to respond to her. Piper wanted to tell her ex-girlfriend that she needed her in her life, that she was lost, that she needed time... But then she found her with Nicky..._

__

She just wanted to respond and not to let her believe the wrong things, like she had done with Miss Claudette after the radio show. But that's who she is: she is incapable of saying the right thing when it's time. So she always fucks up everything... And it's always too late when she understands that.

Yesterday she didn't go to dinner in the evening, nor to breakfast this morning. She was about to hide in the library, armed with chocolate bars, when she was called in the visitation room... The outside world reminding her of its existence...

"Piper, are you ok?" Polly says, looking at her friend with serious eyes.

"Yes, yes" Piper sighs, drawn out of her wandering.

"Well, obviously you are not, Pipes..." Polly replies, frowning. "You haven't said anything for about ten minutes... I'm sure you wouldn't have called me if I hadn't come here... what happened?"

Piper shakes her head; the last person she wants to talk to about the Pennsatucky mess is Polly, for sure. Well actually, there's nobody she wants to talk to about it.

"Nothing, Poll!" Piper tries a fake smile. "What were you saying?"

Polly suspiciously looks at her for few seconds as if she was trying to see what's happening in her friend's mind.

"I was just saying that Larry asked me to ask you if you accepted him coming to visit you. He said if it's a yes he will come this afternoon. Pipes, what happened? Why does he need me to talk to you?"

Left with no choice, Piper briefly explains the marriage story without mentioning Alex: the first break up, Larry's visit to ask her to marry him as soon as possible, his final and sudden change of mind...

"Wait, you're not telling me everything... There's something else... Someone? Jesus, Pipes, has Super-Cunt something to do with this?" Polly asks, playing Sherlock Holmes at the point where she understands that some information is missing in Piper's account.

Piper closes her eyes and breathes deeply. She doesn't want to talk about it... But she can't lie to Polly, so she nods. Polly's reaction is exactly what she expected. But Piper doesn't respond, she lets her friend speak, criticizing her and above all criticizing Alex.

"Is it really over?" Polly asks when she ends her sermon. "I mean, Larry and you... Over ?"

Piper hides her face in her hands, exhaling deeply. Why is she here? Why does she have to listen to Polly's remarks? To listen to Polly ask the questions she has avoided answering. She doesn't want to think about it. She knows perfectly well what she did when she started asking herself too many questions about it. She shivers as Pennsatucky's face briefly comes to her mind.

"Pipes" Polly says, putting her hand on her friend's forearm, her voice softening. "You should see him this afternoon. You'll fix up everything, I'm sure."

The blond sighs, she doesn't want to let Polly think that she has gotten herself into deeper and deeper shit lately. So, her eyes still closed, she tries to contain tears; she nods. She forces a twisted smile and tries to change the subject. For few minutes she listens to Polly chit-chatting about Christmas Eve, about Finn, about Piper's parents moving to the other side of the country for their holiday -which is their excuse for not having come to see their daughter right after Christmas... And then the morning visitation time is over. Polly makes Piper agree to see Larry later, and after a last hug, Polly is gone.

//

She is called again for the visitation room in the middle of the afternoon. She doesn't know what to expect with her talk with Larry.

They look at each other, silent and stiff. They don't hug; Larry only puts his hand on Piper's shoulder as a way not to break any contact yet but to be sure though to keep his distance. He has a sorry smile on his face when he removes his hand. What an awkward situation... this is so cold ... Piper sneers inside for her naivety, and Polly's too.

They sit down. They don't talk until, after half a dozen uncomfortable minutes, Larry finally opens his mouth. He didn't come to fix things up, he says. He has had enough of all this, of Piper's lies, so he came to make sure things are clear, with no words remaining to be said. He plays with little yarns from his sleeve as he lets this out, avoiding Piper's look. His hands shake slightly, and Piper can't stop looking at them as she hears Larry's words.

His father decided not to represent Piper anymore, so she will have to find another lawyer. That was the main point he has come to talk about. But he also needs to know what to do with her stuff. He thinks of leaving them in their flat, until he moves. Maybe she wants to keep the flat? Otherwise, he plans to give Piper's belongings to her mother, with her permission, until her prison term is over. He needs some time alone, so she probably won't hear from him for a while.

Piper listens to all this without reacting. She accepts everything. Larry's coldness, Larry's requests, Larry's fucking ideas... Larry's fucking little tears in the corner of his eyes as he speaks. Once again she's lost. Maybe she is really losing it in this prison... Maybe she should call her mom and ask her for medication... Maybe they should throw her in the Psych... And Larry's still talking... He tries to give hypocritical justifications for all his decisions... And Polly who said this morning that they would see each other and fix everything...

She is not even crying. She is so hurt by Larry's behavior that she can't say a word. She only hears Larry's voice, she understands the meanings of all this but she cannot stand this. All she feels is pain. Pain for she has been dumped twice by Larry now, pain for she knows once again that she made a mistake when she picked him... If only she had not been so stupid, she should have known she had pushed him too far already. When she picked him she was thinking she would feel secure, but everything has been so fucking dreadful and unstable since that day... Alex would have protected her, she would have never changed her mind... And meanwhile, Larry carries on speaking...

The visit comes to its end and she has said almost nothing. She stares blankly at Larry's back as he leaves the room.

She's like a zombie for the rest of the weekend. She is still trying to understand how shitty her life is now. So she has taken refuge in her own mind, avoiding any interaction with the other inmates so that things cannot get worse. But things could not get shittier than what they are already, right?$

//

Monday comes and Piper is forced to come back to her senses. Despite New Year's Eve coming, Lusheck is back in the electric shop, so Piper has to go back to work too this afternoon. She's apprehensive about spending half the day with Nicky. She has not talked to her since Christmas, since her and Alex started flirting and more. So she slowly walks in the corridors, to the electric shop. She's still afraid of going outside too.

As she is about to push the exit door after a deep breathe, she hears her name. Healy calls her. He walks towards her, hardly repressing a sadistic smile. He's apparently very satisfied with himself.

"Chapman ! Where're you going?"

"Em... to work... to the electric shop," she says pointing her finger in the direction of the electric shop behind the closed door, lifting her eyebrows. Her voice sounds weird, she hasn't spoken since Saturday's visits, and her last words directed to Healy were before he left her alone with a crazy murderous angel.

"But you don't work there anymore. You've been transferred to laundry duty. You should already be there," he says before he turns back and leaves her in the corridor.  
She remains speechless, opening and closing her mouth, her finger still pointed toward the electric shop, her eyes looking where Healy was standing seconds earlier, until a guard comes to her and takes her to the laundry room.

The laundry room... Alex... she thinks. Why did Healy put her with Alex? This makes no sense... she thinks as she walks to her new workplace, following the guard... But it is not Alex that she sees when she enters the room, it is Leanne. Piper frowns.

"Wait, wait, you won't leave me here, right?" she says to the guard when he is about to leave.

"Oh yes, I will! 'Got better things to do. Now listen to your new colleagues, they'll show you what you have to do"... and he's gone. Piper tries to call him again as she follows him, but Leanne calls her and forces her to stop.

"Eh yo! Come here! Yeah, you gonna see how we work here" she says smirking.  
After a quick look over the room, Piper sees that there is no trace of Alex here... She quickly understands what is going on. Did Healy really swap their work duties? So she is working in the electric shop right now… with Nicky. And... is she, Piper, alone, defenseless, with Pennsatucky's entire crew?

"Oh fuck!" she lets out in a sigh.

Hands come from nowhere and grab her arms and legs while Leanne faces her. The blond meth-head looks at her with an intense and devilish look. She really looks like she is the boss right now. _Fuck_ , Piper thinks, _does Pennsatucky possess her acolyte while she's in coma?_ The crazy blond takes few steps towards Piper whose head is firmly held by someone behind her, forcing her to look straight at Leanne. She can't move; her arms and legs are immobilized, there must be two or three of them behind her.

She starts to panic as Leanne stands in front of her; she had just entered the room and now she finds herself stuck in this dreadful situation. She cannot hope for any help: no guard will come around for sure, and no girls either for this is not time to bring laundry bags. No savior to expect, no witnesses... And she is sure Leanne's intentions are not of the kindest.

She tries to calm down, breathing as deeply as she can, despite Leanne's head being so closed to her, despite all these hands that grab her...

"So you think you can beat one of us without no punishment?" Leanne spits out. "But, College, you're smart enough to know that it don't work this way, aren't you?"

She smirks and then and then Piper receives the first kick, in the stomach. It is very strong, stronger than what she would have expected from a girl of Leanne's stature. She bends with pain. She would like to protect herself, with her arms or knees, but they are held too firmly. As she receives a second blow, she thinks of Healy. She curses him; he knew this would happen; he knew she would be defenseless in the laundry room. So that's his revenge? And she remembers his stupid little victorious smile a few minutes ago as she is hit once more, on the face this time.

"Not on the face I told you! No marks I said"Leanne orders.

But the hit has been strong, and Piper starts to feel strange. Her sight becomes turbid. She is kicked again, but the kicks, all on her stomach and back now, are less and less strong... less and less painful. She stops counting them as she loses consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm still looking for a beta, basically for idioms and grammatical structures...


	5. Chapter 5

When she finally re-opens her eyes, everything is white around her.  
For a moment, she thinks that maybe the hit she was given has degraded her sight, and then she realizes that the white masses which surround her are white pull-overs and white cotton pants. She wants to move them aside and see if there is anybody in the laundry-room but her arms are tied in her back. The mass of clothes -she'd never thought it would have been so heavy- prevents her from emerging from it. When she tries to help her movements with her legs, she realizes that they are also hampered and she lets slip a little cry of panic... which sounds to her as a distant muffled noise: she is silenced by a sock, stuck in her mouth by a piece of sheet wrapped around her head.  
She tries to move the clothes that surround her up to her chin, but she tires herself by wriggling in vain from back to front. The suppleness of the clothes absorbs all her moves and she can't reach the armature of the trolley in which she was thrown. Discouraged, she lets some tears roll down her cheeks, tears which are immediately absorbed by her gag.  
The clothes oppress her, they make her breathing more difficult. It reminds her the sensation she had when, as a child, she played at the beach burying herself into the sand. But she wasn't bound then, and she had not been beaten by a group of crazy meth-heads completely submitted to their chief she would have never thought capable of such initiatives.

Little by little, fear, tiredness and her hampered breathing plunge her in a daze. The noises in the pipes you generally hear in laundry rooms seem to be more and more distant, her sight gets cloudy at times...

Ignoring how much time she has spent in such a state, she thinks her chance to be free has come when she hears noises of footsteps coming in her direction.  
But, what if it was Leanne, coming back to hit her again ? Or even worse, to suffocate her with more clothes ! ... Maybe she's going to die... And now she can't move, she's paralysed by an irrational fear her raving mind can't control.

What would have been worse? Leanne effectively coming back? Or Alex and Nicky appearing for the second time when she was waiting for the crazy blond woman to threat her again?  
Because this isn't Leanne and one of her mate, but actually Nicky and Alex who were coming. Now Piper can see them, she can hear them. She feels reassured. She hopes they're going to help her. Yes, they will, for sure. She tries to move, but this is pointless, she can't make any audible sound through the sock in her mouth with her weak breath and now she is way too weak to try again to make the trolley fall over.  
Focusing too much on her chances to get out of this fucking situation she didn't pay attention to the reason why Nicky and Alex have come to the laundry-room. This is only when she hears Alex saying to the ginger-headed “trust me, at this hour no one comes here” that she begins to understand.

Wide-eyed, she sees Nicky coming closer to Alex, slipping her hands under the brunette's T-shirt and pulling it over her head. The two women giggle, and Piper, out of their field of sight, sees this mischievous glint in the former dealer's eyes. They are at the other side of the room, but very visible for Piper. They don't kiss, they only touch each other, but Piper can see what the all thing is about: just get laid, just having good time... _for now_ she bitterly thinks.  
Alex doesn't unclothe Nicky. She's here to be taken charge of by the other woman. Nicky pushes her to one of the table so she climbs and sits on it, and then she promptly pulls her pants and underwear off. Almost naked, the brunette leans back on her elbows while spreading her thighs. She shakes her hair before she gestures to Nicky to come closer, her eyes full of appetite for sex. Piper can't see Nicky's reaction to this invitation, but whatever, she's too concentrated on what she sees in Alex's eyes. What she loved and loves so much to see in those eyes when they are looking at her, Piper, not one another... Nicky is not long in coming closer, she climbs on the large table in her turn and spreads more the brunette's legs, grabbing her hips to draw her closer. Piper's ears are full of the sighs and moans the two women let out. So now she can't know if this is the weight of the clothes on her, or the pain of seeing what she sees that restricts her breathing.  
She wishes she could stop looking, close her eyes or look away. But something prevent her from doing that. She already understood that Alex and Nicky's relationship has evolved to something more than just friendship. But this... being forced to think, to realise, to see that she is not, not anymore, the only one to make Alex come in this prison... Knowing so concretely that other women have put their hands, their lips -whatever lips they were, up or down- on Alex's skin, on Alex's body, on Alex's breast, on Alex's lips, on Alex's pussy...  
Nicky slips her hand in Alex's flesh -which Piper knows to be wet as she hears the ginger-headed's laugh of satisfaction. And Piper's tears roll down even more. The blond woman can easily guess what Nicky's fingers are doing to the brunette while she sees the evolution of Alex's expression on her face, those expressions she knows so well for she has loved them so much, for she has searched them, for she came watching them. Nicky has sunk her fingers in Alex, maybe she has slipped a finger to her anus, rubbing it in rhythm with the outs and ins of her other fingers. Her thumb plays with Alex's clit, the woman breathing deeper and deeper, faster and faster... Piper sees Alex's elbows shivering before she lays down on her back, passing an arm over her to grab the edge of the table, and forcing Nicky's fingers to dig deeper, faster in her. Piper can't see Alex's face anymore, but she sees her whole body tightening, shivering with pleasure from head to foot. She heard Alex's husky cries while she's having so good time with Nicky's hand plunged in her. The ginger-headed slips her other hand to Alex's bra and lets her breast out, massaging it vigorously. Alex's moans double.  
Tears run down from Piper's eyes she has finally managed to close. She sobs, thinking of how much she wishes she were in Nicky's place, how much she wishes she were digging her fingers in Alex, her Alex. How much she wishes she were there, over her, biting her own lips with excitement hearing how much Alex fucking loves what she's doing... How much she wishes she were kissing her, covering her body with her lips, feeling the brunette's muscles bending under her lips while Alex moves her body in rhythm with Piper's hand...  
And despite the pain she feels in this situation, she can't avoid feeling a certain wetness between her legs. Alex's cries... those cries project her in the past, in the remote past of multiples orgasms in Alex's giant bed, on desert beaches of exotic islands, in rooms of the most beautiful cities of Europe and Asia... and the recent past, Alex sinking her nails in Piper's back during this new first time between the two women, time she had lived like a rebirth, on the chapel floor...  
But Alex pronounces Nicky's name and stops Piper's wanderings, brings her back to the terrible and painful present.  
“Come on Nicky, come on... Nicky, please” she says, breathless, her eager voice expressing, summing up all the pleasure which is about to fill her up.  
Opening her eyes, Piper sees that Nicky has downed her head between Alex's thighs, her fingers still in her, playing with her flesh while she licks and sucks the brunette's clit. Alex hesitates: she firmly grabs the edge of the table with both her hands, then she slips one of her hands to Nicky's head, holding it tight, pressed against her pussy, she grabs the table again in order to release the tension which fills her, before she slips her hand back to the other woman's head when she feels she's not taking care of her clit enough... Then Alex's body bends, she lifts her hips and as she hears and sees Alex reaching her orgasm, Piper can feel the reminiscence of Alex's sex tightening and releasing slower and slower her fingers while the brunette was calming down...  
What happens next isn't clear in Piper's mind. With her eyes full of tears, she sees the two women dressing up, Nicky shaking her numb arm, Alex wiping her glasses and putting them back on her nose, the two women sitting down the feet of the table and chatting...  
It's only when she hears her name that she comes back to reality.  
“Let's not talk about her right now” Alex cuts after she lets out a large sigh.

Then the two of them are gone, and Piper remains stuck in her pile of linen, alone, her mind sinking in an uncontrolled -and incomprehensible for her compartmentalizer mind- jealousy in which she sees Alex's and Nicky's body mixing with each other's... in which she sometimes sees her own body, lying next to Alex's one, warm and comforting.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been really busy lately, but now I have more time so I'll update sooner.  
> Please leave some review, I want to know what you think!

The room has been silent for too much time. Piper's chest, arms, knees, and hips are aching; they have been immobilized for too long. She breathes with difficulty so she has closed her eyes for several minutes and now tries to focus on her own breathing. Whether to calm her down, not to let herself drawn to a panic attack, or either only to stay alive: she fears she will stop breathing if she doesn't focus on this vital rhythm.

She is hot because of the linen around her. Drops of sweat run down her forehead, her checks and her neck. It increases her physical uneasiness but she hardly pays attention to this. Piper's mind is far away from the laundry room. She is not especially somewhere, but it is as if she had ceased to be present in her own body. Focusing on her breathing, she has little by little mentally stepped away from herself. Now she stares blankly right in front of her, where no one knows how many minutes ago the two other women were standing, or to be exact, lying. The room is silent. Or maybe this is only because she can't fix her attention on anything; she can only hear her regular breathing.

She does not even react when two dark figures penetrate the silent space, walk to her, take off all the clean clothes from the trolley, and then draw her out of it. She does not move when the ties on her wrists and ankles disappear. She does not even protest when she receives two or three more hits in the stomach while a reedy voice whispers in her ear that she hopes she enjoyed her first day at her new work and has had enough to get used to laundry duties. She does not even resist when the two women try to pull her up on her feet -or maybe they only try to draw her out the laundry- and quickly give up. And she carries on breathing, absently staring in front of her when she is left alone in this fucking laundry room once again.

Alex ghostly silhouette is dancing around her. She is naked, like she was dozens of minutes ago in this same room. But there is no sign of Nicky: it is all Piper and Alex. Piper's eyes follow the movements of the brunette's body. _Why did she come back?_ Piper briefly wonders before she quickly focus nothing but the naked silhouette in front of her. She is getting closer to the blonde woman, fully exposing her beautiful breasts and cunt to the feverish inmate on the ground. Piper sees, feels, and hears Alex. The latter leans to her and sits astride her ex-girlfriend. Piper can't move; she lets the brunette's hands go all over her body. She can feel them on her arms, on her shoulders, on her breast... Piper's eyes are locked on the eyes of the woman on top of her. Her breathing deepens. She feels desire growing more and more, deep inside her as the hands carry on running over her unfortunately non-naked skin. The brunette's fingertips left trails of fire on Piper's neck before they reach her shoulders again... and violently shake them.

"Chapman! Wake up!" Piper hears as Alex's image progressively fades, being replaced by Fischer's features. "Chapman!" the guard says one more time, still shaking the blonde's shoulders.

Piper blinks, gasps, but finally lifts her hand to make Fischer stop. She does not feel better, but Fischer's gestures have made their way to her brain allowing her to regain control of herself. With Fischer's help she sits up on the ground.

"Are you ok, Chapman? How do you feel?" the guard asks with real concern. "I'm going to help you to get back on your feet, and then I'll take you to the infirmary. Ok?" She continues to say as she gets up, holding Piper's hand, preparing to help the blonde to get up in turn.

Piper is still confused so she has not said a word yet, but when she hears the word "infirmary" she tenses.

"No" she whispers, short of breathe. "Not to the infirmary" she repeats.

She must not go there. If she does they will see that she has been beaten, they will see the bruises on her sides and stomach. She does not want to have to explain anything about all this because it will lead to Christmas Eve. And maybe they will even see the bruises on her hand... "My hands" Piper suddenly thinks directing her look toward Fischer, then looking at her hand in Fischer's hand. Her eyes open wider as she meets Fischer's gaze and she starts to breathe faster again as she feels panic growing in herself. But Fischer frowns, lifts her other hand to Piper's forehead as if she is trying to make sure Piper is not sick and feverish. She grabs Piper's elbow and forces her to get up, making sure the inmate does not pass out or fall.

Doing so Fischer has left Piper's hand, so the blonde calms down a bit again, trying to convince herself that the guard hasn't seen anything. Under Fischer's guidance she steps forward, her eyes fixing the floor as she tries to focus on what she's doing. If she walks more or less normally and if she does not fall, maybe she will convince Fischer just to help her to get to her cube.

/

"Ok, you seem to be better; I'll help you go to your bed so you can rest before the Big Party." Fischer says with a hint of excitement as the two women enter the main corridor.

Piper quickly invented a story to explain what happened in the laundry room, but she does not want to linger on this point. She maintained she fell on the ground because of the atmosphere in the laundry room. Too humid, too noisy, too hot... "and too full of hysteric Christian meth-heads" she adds in her mind. She actually feels better since she has left the laundry room, the air is chiller in the corridors and it helps her to feel better.

"What Big Party?" she asks after few seconds of silence since she was focusing on her steps.

"Chapman, you sure you're ok?" The woman in uniform asks for the tenth time. "It's New Year's Eve tonight! All the girls are arranging the recreation room so we can count and celebrate the last seconds before midnight... and before they go back to their cube..."

"Oh..." is Piper's only answer. She had completely forgotten about New Year's Eve. She has felt so out of everything lately that she has not even paid attention to the number of days that have passed since Christmas Eve...

/

"Ok. So here you are! I have to leave you here, but I'll ask Morello or Nichols to come here and see if you're ok." States Fischer before she quickly leaves the blonde inmate in her bed.

Piper breathes deeply once she is alone. She stares at the ceiling while she lies on her back. When Fischer was helping her she somehow felt secure: she was with a guard after all. But now... She doesn't hear anything in the dormitory, and she does not like the feeling it gives her. While she had been focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, she did not pay attention to the people present. 

She swallows as she tries to calm down: she can't hear anything that is going on around her with her heart beating so loudly in her ears. But on the other hand she feels too weak to get up. She does not even know what time it is. Did she miss lunch time while she was down there? The feeling of emptiness that fills her stomach lets her think that she indeed missed it.

She suddenly feels a hand touching her forearm and squeezing it. She tenses and withdraws her arm, holding it in front of her face in order to protect herself.

"Hey! Calm down Chapman" Morello says. "Fischer told me she found you on the ground in the laundry room. She asked me to come and see you, I brought you something to eat, I figured that you might need it" She added holding out two chocolate bars to Piper who had lowered her arm after she heard Lorna's voice. "How are you doing Piper? We don't see you at our table anymore."

Piper sighed. Of course she did not eat with the white girls anymore. How could she while Alex had so specifically asked her not to go to her anymore? Not only has she been avoiding Alex and Nicky for the last few days, but she has also stayed away from Morello, Big Boo and Jones, preferring Sophia and Sister Ingalls's company to any of the other girls. At least with the two older women she can just listen and does not have to participate or stand for Taystee and Poussey's questioning looks. The distance also saves her from enduring the tension her presence would inevitably cause at the white girl's table. This is one of the reasons she has spent so much time alone lately, the other reason being, of course, that she has not been herself since the incident with Pennsatucky. As if she could.

However, Piper is glad that Morello has come to see how she is doing, so she makes efforts to talk to her and answer, even if vaguely, her questions. Morello does not stay long as she sees that Piper seems to feel better. She leaves after five minutes, announcing that she will come back to wake Piper up in time so she can celebrate New Year's Eve with everybody else.

/

Once Morello is gone, Piper feels her adrenaline dropping. She has been incredibly alert since Fischer's intervention. Of course she had experienced a shot of adrenaline from the fear that the guard would discover something of her secrets. But what had shocked her most had been to discover Fischer where she thought it was Alex. To see Fischer's hands in place of Alex's, trying to see if she was still alive instead of caressing her. Alex's gestures had seemed so real...

She doesn't even think of the possibility that she could be attacked once more while she is alone in the dormitory: her mind suddenly sinks back into a compact haze. All she feared and suffered from this week comes to besiege her mind. Pennsatucky's smile haunts her vision, floating, taunting her for several minutes, but Piper feels too weak to react and fight against it. Then it is Larry's turn to come. Larry's fucking little smile repeating again and again "I'm sorry,” "I can't be on your ride anymore"... And his words mix up with Pennsatucky's words. "You ain't worthy of anybody love," "I'm sorry"... They swirl over her, echoing one another, resonating in her ears.

"Stop... stop... please" she softly whines, putting her hands on her ears to make the sounds cease. "Stop... get out! Leave me alone! Get out!" she sobs.

And there she is. "No fucking way!" a husky voice whispers to her, echoing Piper's own words. "Get out!" the voice insists. Piper painfully closes her eyes, holds her ears tighter and curls up on her bed. But the voice won't leave. It sounds so loud in Piper's head that she can't hear or see Larry and Pennsatucky. Her head is full of Alex, no one else, and this is driving her crazy...

_“Hm, Kid, don't tell me you plan to sleep tonight...”_ the voice impishly whispers in her ears.


	7. Chapter 7

Piper shivers when she hears Alex's voice so close to her ear, but she strangely feels better, as her mind is drawn to her memory.

_Despite Alex's attempt to wake her up, she wants to enjoy the last seconds of her sleep, so she keeps her eyes shut. Alex places one of her hands on Piper's side; a pleased smile forms on Piper's lips. The latter feels Alex's hot breathing behind her ear before the brunette's lips land on her lobe. Her smile gets wider when the older woman's body comes closer to hers, her delicious, smooth breasts fitting the back of the sleeping blonde._

_"Come on Pipes! You've already slept for hours," the brunette continues softly._

_"What time is it?" Piper asks with a still sleepy voice._

_"Five. You've been sleeping for four hours" Alex answers, gently rubbing her nose against her lover's skin to tease her._

_Their plane landed earlier that day on Tahiti Island. Because of the ten-hour long trip to French Polynesia -during which Piper could not relax enough to be able to get some sleep- adding to the five hours of time difference, she had crashed on her giant hotel bed as soon as Alex had slid the card in the suite door and opened it. This is one of their first trips abroad together. Alex had convinced Piper to leave New York with her in order to celebrate New Year's Eve, enjoying an bit of sunny warm marine atmosphere and breaking with the icy winter in East Coast. Piper was amazed by the glimpse she caught of the island and the endless horizon of sea as they were driven from the airport to their hotel. But sleep has been stronger than her will to explore this paradisiac site._

_"But I've got a couple of hours more to sleep, Al," the blond girl moans as she buries her head deeper in the pillow, ready for additional napping._

_Alex giggles slightly. Her hand lifts from Piper's stomach to her breast; she caresses it kindly through Piper's shirt material. With a husky voice she whispers "Or we've got a couple of hours to do other things." The little hairs in Piper's neck rise at hearing Alex's proposition and her suggestive voice. The brunette's hand climbs higher on Piper's torso, to her shoulder, and seizes the strap of Piper's top. She pulls it down before she leans to kiss the blond's shoulder._

_"I have a surprise for you," she says, back to Piper's ear. The blond breathes loudly when she feels Alex sensuously rubbing the lower part of her body into Piper's back, the brunette grabbing her lover's hips to press her harder against her pelvis._

_"Is it...?" Piper starts to ask with amazement, turning to face her lover, feeling suddenly much more awake._

_"Shh," the brunette lets out before she hushes Piper with her mouth._

_Piper smiles under the kiss. Their embrace is soft, with no hurry even though both breathe more heavily as their desire for each other grows. Alex caresses her lower lip with her tongue, her hand pressing the blond's head to keep her close. While she deepens their kiss, Piper's hand wanders on Alex's stomach, her fingertips stroking lightly the soft skin on their way. She slides her hand to Alex's back, snaking under Alex's shorts. She grabs Alex's butt and presses it strongly against her, so she feels better the hard item between Alex's thighs against her own crotch._

_The two women hold each other tighter, pressing their mouths stronger. Piper's hand pushes Alex's hip so she forces the brunette to lie on her back, allowing Piper to roll on top of her. She leaves Alex's lips and halts to look into her eyes. She likes what she sees; the brunette's pupils are wide from desire while she intensely stares her lover. She bites her own lip; this brunette is definitely turning her on. She places a slight kiss on Alex's lips before she lifts her mouth to the brunette's ear lobe, planting soft kisses on Alex's jawbones. She has slid her other hand under Alex's shirt and she is now moving her lower body, rubbing against Alex's pelvis._

_"Come here," the elder woman orders as she forces Piper to roll on her back; she is now the one who leads._

_Again, they stare each other, their bodies slowly moving against each other. Piper pants, her mouth half opened, as she sinks into the other's green eyes._

_"God Pipes, I wanna make you come so hard..." Alex sighs without breaking their eye-contact._

_Their mouth crash once again as they both feel a voracious hunger taking possession of them. Piper's top is quickly removed by Alex's impatient hands. Her pants follow few seconds later. Eager to feel Alex's warm skin against hers, the blond pulls the brunette's shirt over. She lets her mouth wander around her lover's bosom as she throws the useless cloth at the other side of the bed. Her hand now free, she captures one of Alex perfect breast and massages it while her mouth works the other one. She feels the wetness between her thighs intensifying after each of Alex's moans. Jeez, this girl drives her completely crazy!_

_As their legs are twisted together, Piper presses her cunt against Alex's crotch; a shot of pure pleasure invades the lower part of her body each time the hard thick stick is pressed against her naked soaking flesh._

_"I think you're the one who's hard, Al" she whispers in the brunette's ear while she dives her hands into her lover's pants. "Take this off" she breathes out looking at the green eyed girl with a hint of supplication in her eyes._

_Once her shorts are removed, Alex goes all over Piper's body with her mouth and hands, stopping to suck, bite or stroke spots which make her lover moan louder. She can't resist tasting Piper before she gives her what she wants. Piper hears her groan with satisfaction when she sees how wet the blond is now._

_"I'll be back later," Alex whispers to Piper's pussy, sending a cold blow on Piper's flesh. The blow makes her shiver slightly. Alex is already back to the blond's lips, kissing her gently as Piper's thighs open widely to welcome the dildo Alex had strapped on earlier. She closes her eyes with delight as she feels the silicone stick entering her flesh, and moans with pleasure as Alex slowly moves in and out. Alex grabs her lover's thighs so she can enter deeper into Piper's cunt. Progressively, Alex speeds up the pace, following Piper's hips injunctions. For sure Alex is as gifted with her hips as she is with her fingers and mouth._

_They intensely look at each other, both communicating their respective pleasure to the other, until Piper violently grabs Alex's neck, drawing her to her mouth. She could not stand being that far from the brunette's sweet lips anymore._

_"Alex," she pants, her breathing following Alex's movements. In... Out... In... "Alex," she repeats, her hand holding strongly her lover's neck, like a drowning person would grip his life belt, unable to find words to describe the waves of pleasure that flood her._

_"Come behind?" she asks at some point. Alex nods and moves out of Piper to let her turn. She quickly gets back in her lover's crotch._

_Piper can feel Alex's look on her back. She knows the brunette is now watching her muscles rolling under her skin as her whole body moves to crash against Alex's hips. She cannot refrain from crying out loud as pleasure fills her beyond limits. Alex has grasped her hips to help her movement. They both know Piper is nearly coming. The blond grabs her pillow to let out part of the tension in her body. She is already out of breath when she comes. She feels Alex's hands gently stroking her legs while she remains in her, provoking a wave of strong shivers in her lower body as her orgasm ends. She collapses, exhausted._

_Alex lies alongside her; she also tries to catch her own breath while drops of sweat lazily run down her chest and collar bone. She lifts her hand to stroke Piper's cheek, her face broking in a huge smile when the blond opens her eyes again. The latter weakly moans as she catches Alex's hand to place kisses on her fingertips._

_"I love to hear you when you're having great time, babe" Alex whispers. Piper blushes as her own cries still echo in her head._

_They remain on the bed for several minutes before Alex makes a move to get up. But Piper is not eager to let her lover leave, so she catches Alex's wrist, forcing her to lie back in the bed._

_"Where d'you think you're going?" she asks while she crawls to be on top of Alex's body, preventing her from getting up again._

_Her hand lazily strokes Alex torso, before she lowers her head toward the brunette's crotch. With her hand, the blond seizes the dildo at its base and place her mouth on top of it. She hears Alex laughs, amused,when the older woman sees what Piper is about to do. Alex rises on her elbows so she can watch Piper. The latter is taking the whole stick in her mouth, enjoying her own taste on it, and moving her head up and down on it before she lifts her eyes to look at Alex. The smile on the brunette's face fades when she sees the glimpse of pure and wild lust on her lover's eyes. With a smacking noise, Piper releases the dildo and intensely stares at her lover. She puts her hands on both sides of the strap and pulls it down so she can reach Alex's pussy. She sees Alex breathing deepen, her nostrils getting wider, as she fixes Piper with her look..._

//  
 _Happy New Year, babe!" Alex wishes to Piper in response to her kiss._

_They are celebrating New Year's Eve on the private beach of a very fashionable club in Papeete._

_Piper widely smiles at her lover with sparks in her eyes. Of course, the five tequilas and three flutes of Champaign she has drunk are partly responsible for this. But she is also overjoyed to be here with Alex._

_"This the best New Year's Eve I've ever spent, Al" she says a bit louder because the crowd starts to sing louder than before, dancing in rhythm with the DJ's music, partly covering the blond's voice._ _"Thank you!" she says as she feels tears of joy coming to her eyes._

"Thank you," Piper repeats, a tear dropping from her eyes.

The wet sensation on her skin wakes her up. She opens her eyes, to see a grey wall of cinder blocks in front of her, instead of the beautiful lights of Moorea Island at the horizon of the private beach in Papeete. She blinks several times, suddenly remembering the reality of Litchfield.

This dream... Piper closes her eyes again to come back on the island. Things were so simple, better, happier then. She would give anything to go back to that time. To go back to that bed withAlex, where she came countless times, even before midnight. But despite her closed eyes all she sees is grey colors. No lights, no stars, no sea, no island... no Alex. At least she can still smell Alex's perfume, as a persistent recollection. A very persistent one. Wait...!

She frowns before she quickly turns to have a look at the rest of the cube.

No... there's nobody. Yet she can sense Alex's smell in the air. It is real; it was not in her dream. _Was she there? Did she come to see her?_ Piper wonders. She blinks, unmoving, as she stares at the entrance of the cube, waiting for Alex to appear. But nothing happens.

There is no noise in the dormitory. So they are still celebrating in the rec room, she thinks.

She sighs loudly as she lies back on her bed. A bit too fast for her head hits the frame of the bed, provoking a loud noise that violently breaks the silence in the room. And causes a striking ache at the back of her head.

"Ouch!" she lets out, bringing her hand to her head, furrowing her eyes. As she rubs the back of her head, she feels that something has just fallen on her face, probably moved by the shock. A piece of paper, she notices when she catches it. More exactly, a laundry ticket.

The one she had forgotten when she brought her laundry bag...


	8. Chapter 8

In the silence of the dorm, Piper thinks of that day during the WAC elections: she had enjoyed so much seeing the empty dorm plunged in a deep quietude... But now, she cannot find this sensation of calmness she had felt back then. As her dream is progressively fading in her mind, all she feels is a growing sense of anxiety she cannot overcome. She is coming back to reality.

There is no more silence around her: her loud and intensifying breathing fills her ears. She is alone. She is vulnerable: anyone could come and attack her again.

Is that a snigger she just heard? Is there someone else here?

Her short loud respiration prevents her from hearing correctly the noises in the dorm. She would like to rise, to peer over the wall of her cube to see if the noise was real -of course it was real!- but she cannot move. Her back is stuck against her mattress; her arms are glued to her sides. She closes her eyes, and tries to focus on her breathing. She needs to calm down. She needs to take control of herself again, otherwise she will just be a harmless prey to any malevolent person in Litchfield. And there are so many...

Why did she leave that screwdriver? She should have kept it. She should have hidden it somewhere, kept it with her, so now she would have a weapon to defend herself with, she would be able to... no. No more fighting. No more hurting. No, she does not want this anymore.

She has not heard another laugh. How much time has she been lying here? How many minutes have passed since she woke up? Why is nobody coming back in the dorm? Why is Taystee not back already? She tries to hold back the tears of panic that force their way to her eyes: she must not show her weakness.

The snigger! She hears it again. Is she delusional? Is her mind playing games with her?

Drops of sweat have formed on her neck and front, but she shivers with coldness. Or maybe it is pure fear.

The sound of the laughing echoes in her head. She hears it over and over, she replays it until she can no longer tell whether she invented it or not. She is going crazy...

Footsteps now. So the snigger was real? Or is she inventing the noises again? Who is coming? Lorna said she would come back. Is it Morello? Is it someone else? A threat?

Piper focuses on the footsteps. Why are they so slow? It is as if time had suddenly slowed. She feels, hears her heart beating, bouncing against her chest with each sound of the tread slamming on the ground. Who is coming? Her eyes are wide open, ready to catch the face of the comer prowler the second she gets within sight.

She is close now. Who is it?

"Little napping, baby Chapman?" says a nasal voice on her left.

Piper almost cries with fear when Leanne appears, walking slowly to Piper's cube. Her hand casually caresses the top to the cube wall. Her face is just a wide vicious smile as she looks down on Piper. Did she come to end what she started earlier? Piper wonders, swallowing as she feels a drop of sweat running down the back of her neck.

Leanne stands at the entrance of the cube. She sighs. "I don't understand how someone like you could do what you did to Tiffany," she says, "but God's still here, you know? And I'm here too. She speaks to me, you know? In my dreams!" the oily blonde adds nodding her head with enthusiasm. "Yeah, that's why I know," she states with a satisfied look. "Ain't 'cause Tiffany's not here that you're not done, Chapman." She takes a step toward Piper who has not made a move yet, staring mutely the crazy girl. "Now I must end what she started." Her right hand is tensed in her back. What is she holding? "That's what she'd want, yeah." Leanne licks her lips as a feverish flame of fanaticism dances in her eyes. "That's what He'd want t..."

She suddenly lifts her head, interrupting herself, and looks toward the main door. She frowns and looks back at Piper. "I'll come back, don't worry." A wink and she slips out of the cube, out of the dorm before anyone else can see her.

Piper still hasn't made a move; her eyes are still locked on the entrance of her cube when Morello comes within sight. Piper is trying to figure out what just happened.

"You ok? You look horrible..." Morello abruptly asks when she steps closer to Piper. "Did you sleep?"

Has Morello just saved her life without knowing it? Piper looks at her silently, mouth and eyes open for some seconds more before she shakes her head. No weakness... Everything is fine. Just. Pretend. Everything is fine...

"Yeah" she finally lets out. "Yeah, I'm fine" she repeats, trying to convince herself. "I slept, I'm better now. I'm fine."

"Well, you don't really look so but if you say you so." Morello replies with her skeptical smile. "You coming with me? There are still fifteen minutes before the countdown. It'll only be ten but that's symb..."

"Yeah sure, I come!" Piper cuts quickly. Of course she will go! No way is she staying in here, alone, with a second crazy meth-messiah after her. Piper nods once again and falsely smiles to Morello. "Let's go!" she says as she gets up, grabbing Morello's hand to help her move.

But her hands catch her friend's wrist way stronger than intended as a harrowing pain burns her sides. She collapses back on her bed, letting a surprised whine out under Morello's startled and worried look.


	9. Chapter 9

The pain has been so sudden Piper cannot realize what is happening at first. She holds her sides to restrain the burn near her ribs, and it disappears as fast as it came. She breathes out slowly, afraid that the pain would come back. She lifts her eyes to look at Morello, slightly biting her lower lip inside her mouth. Morello seems at first to avoid her look; this is when Piper feels that her friend's hand releases her shirt.

_Did she see anything? Piper frowns. She lowered her guard._

From the diffuse pain she is more and more aware of, she can be sure bruises have started to form where she was hit. So, did Morello see anything? She is still half-dazed by what just happened. Her confused mind prevents her from reacting to Morello's intrusion. She tries to think of something to say in order to avoid any questions from Morello, but the latter interrupts her thoughts.

"Are you ok? What was that?" she says with a truly worried tone, placing her hand on Piper's shoulder.

_Fuck._

Piper closes her eyes. No way is she having this conversation with Morello. She has to handle her shit by herself; the others do not need to know. She clenches her jaws and stands up carefully, trying to ignore the pain, less striking though, that comes back in her sides. She looks at Morello.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Let's go to the party." She says nodding her head at each sentence, as if trying to convince herself.

She starts to walk out of her cube. Turning her back to Morello, she allows a grimace of suffering on her face. She really needs to get out of the dorm as long as there is a chance that she would remain alone in here by staying. She has not the strength to fight with Leanne, even if it is a one on one fight. She peers over the dorm; there is no trace of the blond meth-head. Path is clear.

But Morello grabs Piper's hand and makes her stop before she could step too far from her cube. She forces the blonde to face her again.

"No, Chapman. You have to tell me, what happened? What was that?" she asks, pointing at Piper's stomach and then her cube.

"Really, Lorna, it's nothing," Piper sighs. _Be smart, Chapman, find something. She can't know. She mustn't._ "I... I..." she stutters, looking for her words. She gulps. "I must have hurt my ribs in the laundry when I fell," she lets out without being too convinced by her own words. "The pain took me by surprise, but it's nothing, don't worry." She adds, trying to sound as firm as she can.

Morello cocks an eyebrow at Piper's answer but nods quickly, letting Piper know that she buys her story. At least, it is what Piper understands, all too happyto avoid Lorna's further questions. She quickly turns and drags Lorna out of the dorm with her.

"Let's go, the countdown will start without us if we linger much longer" She says.

The room is full of noise and decoration. Garlands of toilet paper hang between the lights all over the room, overlooking the chattering inmates. Suspended under some neon lights, massive rough bows echo the waving garlands fixed on the gratings; under the other lights and at each window, blown up white plastic trash bags stand for festive balloons. The fact that the girls in charge of decorating the room have surpassed themselves is the least Piper could say. In an effort to break with the inevitably white tone of the garlands and the makeshift balloons, two large yellowish banners have been hung on the wall at each side of the room. "Happy New Year," they say. The blue uniforms of the two guards posted in the room are more effective in contrasting with the beige and white groups.

Most of the inmates are dancing to the beating rhythm of an old song from the 80s being spat out of a small radio post. The others either sit around the tables and play cards or seem to just enjoy the show offered by their dancing fellows, while some are gathered around a table where snacks and candies from the vending machines have been piled up. Red seems to be keeping an eye on them, while shooting daggers at Gloria Mendoza; at the other side of the room, the Spanish woman offers her 'familia' hors d'oeuvres she had cooked in the kitchen.

A stranger giving a rapid look at the room would think that there is no such thing as racial segregation in the prison; looking closer, though, Piper can see the obvious distinctive groups among the crowds. No white girl is dancing with a black one, and the Spanish crew is occupying a specific area in the room.

If it wasn't for her anxious state of mind, she would have probably smiled at this scene. Who would think that inmates could have so much fun during their incarceration? Of course she knows all this is just appearances, that most of the girls in the room would prefer to be among their real friends: free to drink until they can't see anything and walk on their knees, eating meals they would have spent the day cooking and baking with their siblings, dancing and singing to songs they could choose because they would be allowed to use CDs. There's nothing of this here. They are acquaintances, necessary occasional friends.

"Ten minutes, inmates!" suddenly shouts one of the guards, warning the inmates that the party is soon to be over, and playing at the same time the role of a counter to the fake-midnight.

"Come here," says Morello, dragging Piper to Red.

Piper forces a smile on her face as the two of them walk across the little crowd. She has to act normally.

"How do you feel, kid?" asks the Russian woman with a motherly tone. "Did you eat?" She asks holding to Piper a chocolate bar from the pile in front of her.

"I'm fine, Red" smiles Piper, refusing the snack by waving her hand.

And she is not really lying. She feels better than in the dorm. There are lots of girls here; no one from Leanne's crew will try anything against her. She could almost enjoy the party if her ribs were not hurting so much. She tries to keep focusing on what is happening around her but she is only half aware of the others' moves. Morello and Red have started to talk, Piper hears them without listening. She crosses her arms on her chest, trying to put up a front. Now the smile, the hard part. She has to compose herself. She quickly looks at the room and watches the girls while they dance.

But this is when Big Boo's head suddenly appears in front of her. She quickly grabs her arm and pulls her to a clear area for dancing.

"I see you wanna dance, Chapman! Come on, do your lesbo dance with me! Promise they won't send you to SHU this time!" She says with a wink.

Without a second to react, Piper finds herself stuck against Big Boo's breasts. She is shaken, pushed, pulled, pivoted, and shaken again. And it never ends. Big Boo doesn't give her an opportunity to extract herself from her crazy hold. Some inmates have even stopped dancing and Piper can hear them whistle and cheering at them.

When Big Boo finally releases her hands and kneels in front of her in order to mime she-doesn't-even-wanna-know-what, Piper jumps on her chance and gently pushes the brunette away. She quickly walks in a safer place near Taystee, far from the frenzied brunette, faking a loud laugh; she even seems to cry with joy!

Out of breath, she tries to hold in the real tears that come to her eyes while her cube-mate and her friends applaud her. She could have let herself cry if she didn't know that her shaking sobs would hurt her ribs even more. She holds on to this thought to prevent the tears from falling from her eyes; no one sees her distress. God, that dance almost killed her! Her whole torso is a burning pile of painful needles. And she does not even think of the attention it drew on her whereas she tries to keep her head down... and on her neck as a matter of fact.

She progressively regains her breath and looks up at Big Boo who has replaced her insufficient dance partner with Yoga Jones. The two of them seem to fit perfectly together for this kind of exercise. Piper smiles.

"No way will you convince her, Nichols!" giggles a husky voice from across the room to her right, before letting out a loud laugh. Piper immediately freezes as if she has received a full bucket of cold water down her back. _Alex..._ she had almost succeeded in avoiding thinking of her... _and Nicky._


	10. Chapter 10

Piper is now back in her bunk. She plays distractedly with the little piece of paper Alex seems to have brought earlier. She does not understand. _Why?_ For the tenth time she shakes her head as she lets her mind ramble. Like most nights since the Christmas events, she cannot sleep. It seems like this day will never end, but stretch and stretch and let Piper die before it comes to its end. Maybe this is this whole year which is not supposed to end. This fucking year... Litchfield, Alex, Doggett and then Larry... _Yea, fucking year._

An hour before, Piper was still in the rec-room. Once she noticed that Alex had joined the inmates and their party, she tried to avoid looking at her. Turning her head toward the brunette had not been necessary to know that she was accompanied by Nicky. Who would she be laughing with? She had fought the urge to look up at the brunette for some minutes, knowing that the vision of Alex would not make her feel better, and would only remind her what she saw earlier that day in the laundry room. She had started to feel sick again at the simple thought of the moans she heard there... After hearing Alex's laughter, a bitter feeling of jealousy filed her veins and did not leave her.

It has been a while since she felt such a feeling for real. When she encountered Alex and Nicky in the brunette's bunk, the latter looking guilty as fuck while Nicky's smirk had done nothing but confirm what Piper could only assume from the scene, a loud alarm bell had started to ring in her head. It had been like a warning signal that an old barrier she had built years ago had started to crack.

_There was never a real contest between the two girls, but both knew that, while they were shaking their bodies on the dance floor, more than a dozen people, of either sex, would come and try their luck with one of them during the endless nights they spent there. They made a game out of it. None of the pretenders would notice the playful and teasing peeps the girls would take at each other. They would be simple and insignificant toys in the game; flies thrown away after they went too close to those blindingly shiny girls._

_Some other nights, they would stay stuck to each other, ignoring the rest of the crowd that was pressing them against each other. They would never feel close enough, only just fused enough to be content with their dance. Hours of skillful finger games would be necessary, yet still not enough. The dance, of their bodies, of their tongues, of their hips, backs and shoulders, extended from the dance floor to the soft mattress of their bed, would only end once the first beam of sun would pass through the light curtains of their asleep in each other's arms, they would finally find a relief from their quest for completion; their hair muddling in strange light and dark strands, their sweat mixed indistinctly with their own wetness, breathing and exhaling the same air, sleeping in a sweet and warm atmosphere made of their screamed and moaned desire of each other._

_This night is not really different from the others. It has been two hours since Alex dragged Piper's hand to get her to the floor, where a crowd of sweating, feverishly drunk young people moves to the beating rhythms played by a visionary DJ. They have been playing with each other's patience. Piper is in a teasing mood. Her arms locked behind the tall and muscled man dancing behind her, she has been looking at Alex while suggestively moving her back against the other's hips, to his utter pleasure. He lets his hands wander near her waistband while breathing loudly in Piper's ear. She grins as she feels the man's excitement straining through his body. She knows Alex will have to make a move soon, or the man will try to pull her to a quieter corner of the club... Enjoying Alex's look on her, she waits for her reaction. How long will the brunette hold herself? Piper's mischievous grin takes a wider shape on her face: she sticks her body stronger against her dance partner, knowing this will be too much for the brunette, whose attention she wants. To her surprise, a loud, husky moan escapes the man's mouth. Amused, she bites her lower lip before looking back at Alex. Did she hear that? But the gorgeous brunette is now closer. Much closer. Barely two inches from Piper's face._

_Something is dancing in her eyes. A bestial gleam of retained anger and hunger that twists Piper's stomach. This look... Without caring a second for the male toy in their game, Alex grabs Piper's neck and pulls her closer, claiming by any means her property right on Piper and her body. Her hands are everywhere, her tongue forces its entrance through her girlfriend's lips, invading Piper's mouth, her thigh placed between Piper's legs, pressing against her crotch as they continue to dance. Piper got what she was looking for. She surrenders, enjoying the warm contact of her lover against her. Behind them, the man is too shocked to react, he hardly saw Piper leaving his arms. As if an imaginary nymph, created out of nowhere by his mind, had suddenly blown up and disappeared._

_There are unspoken rules in their game. It is just a playful, lustful game made only to lead to unhampered reconciliations in their hotel room; or elsewhere if the need does not allow them time to reach their hotel. It is a simple game with the other's jealousy. An innocent game with each other's feelings. Yet, Piper has gone further than usual. Seeing what she was trying to do, Alex fought and resisted the urge the take away the blonde woman the moment the tall man landed his hands on her lover's body. And despite her clear re-appropriation of Piper, she can't help feeling hurt. Or so will she tell Piper later in the night. She has quickly pulled Piper to the little rest room at the back of the club and roughly makes love to her. Biting Piper's neck and lips, her fingers pump bluntly in her lover's folds. Piper knew she had been driving the brunette crazy, and she cannot help but encourage Alex's savage retaliation as her arms and legs are strongly immobilized against the dirty wall. She is punished, roughly but still lovingly._

_"You're mine," groans the brunette against her neck, blowing a warm breath against her skin, thrusting her fingers deeper as if to emphasize her words._

_Yes... and she is mine, Piper thinks in a new moan._

The blonde woman is drawn out of her thoughts by a loud snore escaping Taystee's mouth as she moves on her side. Piper still has not completely got used to these noises at night. She lets her head roll against the wall again.

Listening to Taystee and Poussey's conniving jokes had helped her not to think of the tall woman at the other side of the room. When they started the countdown to 10 pm, Piper had tried to keep her eyes closed. Maybe, maybe this would have made her disappear away from Alex... Yet, she could not resist the suddenly stronger urge to look straight into Alex's direction. And she had instantaneously frozen: green eyes insistingly landed on her. They had locked eyes without Piper's consent; she had lost control over everything. She had lost consciousness of everything but those green piercing eyes fixed on her. Alex was looking at her...

She would have remained standing there, hypnotized by her former lover's strangely caring gaze if Taystee had not suddenly kissed her on her cheek, giving her a loud, "Say hello to a new year in prison, Taylor Swift!" She then had pushed the blonde to force her to move toward the dorms; not realizing she was awakening a needling pain in her cube-mate's trunk. Both the shock and the pain had been sudden enough to wake Piper up. She had abruptly dropped her gaze, realizing what she had been doing with Alex, remembering all the past events that had been temporarily washed away by the look on the brunette's face. The uncontrolled returning wave of hard feelings and pain that had left her for some relieving seconds brought tears to her eyes; she hurried to leave the room with her cube-mate, fighting against the urge to curl in one of the corners of the room in a reminiscence of her childish defensive attitude. If only she could do that again... And in a way this is what she is doing currently: protecting herself from the rest of the world, curling and shaking from the top of her bed. But this is not enough; as prison taught her a while ago, she does not need protection against the world but against herself. Her own thoughts are her main enemy in here.

Yet, tonight she has lost control on them. She cannot prevent her mind from rambling here and there in painfully happy memories. About Alex. And about Larry. She wonders what kind of night the sweet dark-haired man is having. She would have set up something with him. He was not good with that. There first New Year's Eve together had been a disaster...

Once again, she lets her mind wander without control.

//

She opens her eyes in the morning. So she finally fell asleep... _What now?_ Is she going to head alone to the bathroom? She felt secure this night for she was not alone and Taystee would have woken up at any alert given by Piper. But in the morning, naked under the shower, she is completely vulnerable, as Doggett let her know once. And the idea of being alone with either Leanne or Alex is far from being attractive. For a second, the green soft orbs she met yesterday float in her mind. No, she is not ready to see them again.

She could avoid the shower, but she needs it. She feels dirty, for the hits she received, for the time she spent in this hamper, for anything that happened the day before and that she could not wash away from her. Smooth, even coldish water running down her skin is calling her in her head. So appealing... So necessary... She rubs her eyes with the palm of her hands, as if this could chase the brunette and the oily blonde away from her head, away from her path to the shower...

"Hey Chapman!" Calls an unexpected Morello from the entrance of the cube, "I'm heading to the shower. D'you wanna come with me?"

Is this some holy gift from God? Piper quickly stops staring at Morello and nods enthusiastically before she gets up and gathers her stuff. _Shower it is_ , she thinks with relief. Thinking of anything else will come later.


End file.
